Fear

When I came here. The hardest lesson I have to learn was that of fear. When I got here and took my first breath and into my toddlers years I had very little fear. My innocence to what i understood about this world did not have limitations until I was told I "could not" The concept was foreign to me. Behaviors of even simple loving affection was not OK to everyone and if I expressed it was only ok at certain "times" and in certain manners. Men did not embrace or comfort, It was not ok to go around kissing everyone but only grandmother. I emphatically felt everyone's emotions and everyone carried this same emotion around with them like dark cloud. I was drawn away from most everyone. but just as I could feel the emotions of fear I could feel the emotions created by love and a few people had a greater amount of love surrounding them than fear. I was naturally drawn to these people, This was a feeling i knew to be familiar. These bright souls were drawn to me as child gathering around me i was shy, but they always seem to recolonize me. commenting on my eyes and my sensitive nature. this attention I was comfortable with.I remember this one Senior, in high school, Shannon Solvie, and I was in Kindergarten that year she would come find me everyday just to give me a hug and talk with me. I was shy and didn't say much but I looked forward to her everyday and the days when she didn't come I was sad and missed her. Shannon's light was extremely bright and i felt warm and completely peaceful next to her. She would talk and I would just listen and grin ear to ear and stare at her; she was beautiful I remember thinking she looked like an angel. I simply liked being next to her, and I think she enjoyed being next to me, even if my words were few and quietly spoken. It was mutual the feelings of love we shared in silence.
But eventually I bought into the illusion like everyone else. I realize now fear disables you from completing your goals, your desires and your wildest dreams. I know that without fear you can literally do what ever you can create in your conciseness. Giving in to the power of fear is like putting shackles on your dreams and creations, its like making yourself a prisoner in your own body on your own accord.
There is nothing we cannot do as creative beings. Fear binds you in the illusion that you can not create anything. It is not just imagination as in the images in your mind although that is a big part of the creation process. Creation begins with awareness that you have the ability to make it reality. This is no questions in creation only knowledge of what already is. Fear seems to be life long recovery for most and condition that has plague humanity long enough. I am happy to see so many people shedding this veil.